Austin Powys - International Hobgoblin of Mystery in

"Dr No-el"

A Flintloque Scenario by CJ Hooper

With Special Thanks to Helena Nash


Two specially selected teams of eleven troops meet on a field in Catalucia - one Orc, one Elf - as both race to collect the Wylde Magicke egg of St. Sean.


In the heat of the wars in Urop there has been a clandestine and secret conflict hidden beyond the knowledge of even the most trusted exploring officers - the battle for artefacts and objects from the time of Wylde Magic are sought by Mordred in order to swing the tide. Following a recent incursion by a Ferach strike force into Taffsea the Emperor is ever more keen to seek and secure items of power.

It has come to Mordred’s attention that the location of one such item has been discovered in Catalucia – right in the heart of the theatre of war. It is rumoured to be an item f such power as to control the hearts and minds of all, created by the mysterious Dr. No-el. Records indicate that this artefact, deemed too powerful to be allowed to remain in mortal hands, was buried in the tomb of a fallen saint, there to be held forever.

In the halls of power in Lyonesse, plans are hatched by Mordred and his officers to retrieve the artefact. The tomb of St. Sean has been located in Catalucia and must be pillaged to retrieve the war-ending wonder. However, hope for Albion is at hand in the form of Austin Powys, International Hobgoblin of Mystery. With his fabled Yew Branch spy glass he has been lip reading every word said within the lofty offices of Mordred. (Sometimes even lip reading backwards off mirrors! Why do evil geniuses never eulogise in front of windows these days?)

However, despite the plans being uncovered by unquestionably the best spy Albion has at it's disposal they're not in the clear yet. Mordred has dispatched his latest spy – the warrior poet Canto N’ah to retrieve this item. He is rumoured to be both fast and deadly. Austin must hurry, perhaps there is only time to catch up with two of the ladies he had planned on seeing this evening... the others will simply have to wait.

The Tomb of St. Sean

The grim faced saint, buried in his famous red and white, had his tomb marked with crossed blades. Clues were found that led to a green field well past the front lines in Catalucia.

The difficulty now for both sides is that whilst the tomb containing the artefact has been located, at the expense of great teams of sappers of both sides, it is no longer in an undisturbed field that would have been forever green but in a muddy field of potholes and exploratory trenches... with an entire army on each side.

Orc and Elf face each other across the field of battle and as speed is of the essence two small teams, each eleven in number, have been dispatched by each nation to enter the tomb and retrieve the artefact.

The Artefact

The artefact itself has been cloaked in mystery since the initial dispatches and little has been said to identify or distinguish exactly what this ‘thing’ is. Rumours say that it is an egg held between the hands of dead St Sean in his tomb.

The Field of Battle

Whilst there is currently no map for this scenario it's easy enough to set up. The two sides are pitched at each other across the rain soaked fields of Catalucia in Midwinter. Trenches and pot holes mark the ground between them and in the very centre sites the tomb of St Sean. Unusually, given the problems with discipline experienced by both sides, there is a gaol at each end of the field where any deserters are to be kept...

Special Rules

The two sides start on opposing edges of the board and race towards the tomb through the many obstacles along the way.

The tomb must be entered and the ‘egg’ retrieved from the hands of dead St. Sean, this takes one full turn during which time the retrieving miniature is off the board.

However retrieving the egg is only a minor victory...

The Expected Twist – I know you saw it coming but it is Christmas!

The egg retrieved and placed in the warm hands of a warrior causes a miraculous burst of Wylde Magic from a time long past.

Move both Austin Powys and Canto N’ah directly to the tomb where they are bathed in the holy light of Dr. Noel.

“This is the game of Dr No-el...”, rumbles a deep voice echoing through the chamber...

“You have all been chosen to play in this final encounter. My magickes shall last until the dawn, if you succeed it shall bring peace, if you fail then the conflict shall remain... to lose is to win and to win is to lose... or something like that… Now get on with it...”

The Great Game

At this point the two teams find themselves at the shorter opposing edges of the board, eg. north and south. The side who retrieved the egg starts off and with either side, using non-lethal force*, must race towards the opposite end of the battlefield and place the egg in the structures located there.

Thereby scoring a ‘GAOL’... I bet you saw that coming too...

Major Victory is to the team who scores the most gaols before sunrise.

True Victory is to the player who can 'meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same'. – Kipling.

Author's Notes

And so this rudimentary game of Football takes place on the day that is Christmas in Valon. Will the two sides find peace or shall the conflict continue?

Will Austin ever get back to his hot tub?

Will Canto N’ah do his two footed flying death kick into the crowds?

Only you can tell dear reader.

Play well, for you play with my dreams.


Webmaster's Note

An Orcs in the Webbe Original! "Dr No-el" was written exclusively for Orcs in the Webbe and was first published on the 25th December 2013.