'S.O.(P) - It's life, kind of...'

A Panzerfäuste Background Article by Matthew Hartley

panzerfauste generic

Within bowels of Branzhûm's Government lurk the Special Organs - Departments who deal with the more disagreeable aspects of life. One such department, The S.O.(P)., are  the Orcs defence against the agents of Darkness.


Branzhum's Paranormal Investigation Service

Bureaucratic Branzhum is blessed with many instruments of government to regulate and administer all the functions of the nation. Most of the work is mundane and tedious, however, deep in the bowels of  Government lurk the Special Organs - Departments and Branches to deal with the more disagreeable aspects of life. Here is to be found the Special Organ (Paranormal) - Brazhum’s defence  against the agents of Darkness.

- Extract from “Notes from a small cell” by Bill Briney.


S.O. (P) in Panzerfaust
The S.O. (P) is, with a few notable exceptions, staffed by the eccentric children of the lesser nobility who are too stupid even to work in the country’s other open asylums, the Universities (places there are reserved for the Cream of Branzhum - those both rich and thick). Performance is, needless to say, patchy.Typically, S.O.(P) agents operate in pairs,forming a unit of two figures and being treated as partisans for game purposes. Operatives are ununiformed but show an alarming tendency towards aping the popular heroes Ohms & Wisden and wear Harris Tweed suits (hence the numerous reported sightings of MiT - Men in Tweeds). All agents are trained to proficiency in a number of weapons, although a  Webby pistol is considered a S.O.(P) agents weapons of choice.

S.O. (P) agents rely on the co-operation of  the local  constabulary - colloquially know as “the Old Nick”- for any actions requiring numerical support. Unfortunately, the S.O.(P) have notoriously poor relations with local “Nick”, who resent the intrusion on their "patches", as a result co-operation is rare.


Shylock Ohms & Dr. Wisden

Shylock Ohms and Dr Wisden are two of S.O.(P)’s most famous operatives. Originally independent investigators, the War has brought them within the sphere of the Organs.

Shylock Ohms is the leader of the duo. A hearty eater renowned for demanding his “pound of flesh”, Ohms is both the brains and muscle in the partnership. Ohms has taken the Branzhum national  obsession with the weather to an extreme degree, believing storms to be the work of evil occultists - at the slightest shower he is heard to curse and mutter “Elementalists, my dear Wisden”.

Dr Wisden, despite his qualifications, is a slow witted fellow. A famous cricketer in his youth, he still carries a bat with him at all times. His immense beard and stout figure make him an imposing sight.

Ohms & Wisden form a Partisan unit of two models. Both are Experienced, and have a GUTS value of  10. Wisden’s bat is a close combat weapon; used to “launch” grenades it works as an orc Anti-tank weapon (SS (A)). Ohms is armed with a violin, which due to his legendary improficiency, acts in exactly the same manner as a Light Elf Madhatter machine. Both are Orcs.


Webmaster's Notes

The scenario was first published on Orcs in the Webbe on the 22nd February 2008. It was absent for several years due to a prior regeneration of the website not transferring everything over correctly. That wrong has now been righted and it returned in it's original form on the 6th December 2023 as the sixth entry in that year's Advent Calendar and, of course, as part of Orcs in the Webbe's ongoing Panzerfäuste Archive Project.

Any comments in maroon in the article above have been added by me either to provide additional information or clarity. I may also have made small changes to grammar and layout but may not have marked those.

The section on vehicles is taken from the original Panzerfäuste rules booklet with a few additions by me to make driving more exciting and/or hazardous.