flintloque-logo-304x90"Balls to the Wall"

A Flintloque Scenario by Steve Blease.


Join Hauptmann Steiner as he attempts to kidnap two Finkelstein Generals worshipping at a most holy (holey?) Dwarven shrine in this classic Flintloque scenario from the nineties.



Hauptmann Steiner carefully focused his telescope on the village square. From his craggy hillside outpost he could clearly see the small carriage and its Dwarf guard. Ignoring the early morning dew that soaked through his green Jäger tunic, he assessed his options.

His mission was clear enough, reconnaissance in the disputed alpine lowlands between Krautia and Finklestein to ensure that the enemy was not planning any surprise attacks whilst the main Krautian army fought the Elves on the plains near the sea. However, Dwarf Jägers were encouraged to use their initiative and the carriage and its passengers appeared to be a target of opportunity that was worthy of further investigation.

Glancing over his shoulder he could see the grim visages of his section, so hard he mused they could have been carved from the very rocks legend said the Dwarves came from.

Looking back through his telescope, he saw the Finklestein puddlesplashers huddled around square. Damn amateurs hadn't even set a piquet... He could imagine the drunken laughter of the carriage's occupants coming from the village tavern. Time to teach the secessionist bastards a lesson, Steiner decided.


The small village of Heildeljourgsenberg lies on the border between the Krautian League and the Confederation of Finklestein. A rather non descript typical alpine settlement the only difference between it and hundreds of other Dwarven settlements is in its importance in Dwarven religion. Legend has it that it was the site of a manifestation of the Dwarven female goddess of fertility - Thorsguilverg.

This has led to the site being one where Dwarves often make a pilgrimage; female Dwarves for reasons of fertility and male Dwarves for reasons of virility. A statue of the goddess stands within a cellar under the village tavern and, although the exact ceremony is one shrouded in Dwarven secrecy, it is rumoured that male Dwarves have to insert part of their anatomy into an orifice in the statue (this has given rise to the traditional Orc ditty, "A Dwarves Knob is as Cold as Stone"...). Whatever the truth of such things, the statue and its powers form an important part of Dwarf culture that cannot be understated.

The secession of the Finklestein Dwarves from the main Krautian League initially left Heildeljourgsenberg just inside the League, however, following setbacks in their war against Mordred's High Elves, the Krautian Dwarves have lost the village and much of the surrounding territory to the pro-Elf Finklesteiners.

Despite the shifting border, the Krautians often make forays into Finklestein territory, keeping a careful eye on their hostile neighbours whilst the main Krautian army batters away at Mordred's High Elf garrisons.

Steiner's mission thus far has involved such reconnaissance covering various small alpine villages, including Heildeljourgsenberg, and whilst observing this settlement he has noticed the arrival of a small carriage with an armed guard. The carriage contains two elderly Finklestein generals making the pilgrimage for rather obvious reasons given the fact that both have recently taken on considerably younger, exotic and athletic Halfling mistresses! With licence to use discretion as appropriate on these missions, Steiner decides to hit the Finklesteiners hard and capture at least one of the generals.


This scenario is designed for two players and a GM. It uses the basic Flintloque rules and assumes that the GM will have access to some additional rules presented in the Flintloque fanzine Orcs in the Hills.

Players intending to play this scenario should only read their appropriate section and the Special and Optional Rules below.


Scenario Forces

All the Dwarves on both sides are subject to the alcohol temptation rules.

You can find the 3rd Edition alcohol temptation rules, The Demon Drinke, here. It is really easy to apply them to this first edition Flintloque scenario (FLQ1e).

You can also use the skills, traits and flaws rules from Flintloque 3rd Edition to further personalise your troops.


Krautian League Forces

Steiner's unit is a section of the 6th Prinz Neufel Mountain Jägers, an Elite unit of Dwarf light infantry. Including himself, Steiner's section comprises of twelve Dwarf Jägers.

Hauptmann Steiner: an Experienced soldier, Steiner is armed with Rifle and sword, but has no magical ability.

Feldwebel Khalutz: an Experienced soldier, Khalutz carries a Rifle, has no magical ability, but is a tough sod and gains an additional + 1 in hand to hand combat.

Schutze Mharkov: an Experienced soldier, Mharkov carries a Rifle and has magical abilities (Flintloque: Bier & Bones, p.60).

Schutze Ritter: an Average soldier, Ritter is armed with a Rifle with no magical abilities.

Schutze Libfraumich: an Average soldier, Libfraumich is armed with a Rifle, has no magical abilities and suffers an additional +10% modifier to any alcohol temptation roll he has to make.

Schutze Reisling: an Average soldier, Reisling carries a Rifle and has no magical abilities. Hatred towards the Finklesteiners means he has a + 2 morale modifier.

Schutze Holsten: an Average soldier, Holsten is armed with a Rifle and has no magical abilities.

Schutze Luger: an Average soldier armed with a Rifle, there is a 30% chance that he will be drunk before entering battle, if he fails the roll and is drunk, modifiers are as per Private Tunge in Flintloque (FLQ1e). Additionally he suffers from a +15% modifier for alcohol temptation.

Schutze Hock: a Raw soldier, armed with a Rifle, Hock as magical abilities (roll as appropriate).

Schutze von Drauschit: a Raw soldier, von Drauschit carries a Rifle, has no magical ability and feels a long way from home (-1 modifier on morale, unless within 5cm of another unwounded character or Steiner or Khalutz).

Schutze Bremancz: a Raw soldier, armed with a Rifle and has no magic.

Schutze Schmidt: a Raw soldier, armed with a Rifle and has no magic.

Finklestein Confederation Forces

Steiner's disdain towards his secessionist cousins may well have clouded his judgement and the Finklesteiners are certainly not amateurs... The escort for the two Generals are drawn from the Khalaxmestadt 2eme Ligne, a Regular Line unit with recent experience against the Undead whilst serving in Mordred's disastrous Witchlands campaign.

Major Klomvidtz: Veteran character of many years soldiering. He lost an eye in the Witchlands fighting and consequently suffers from an additional -1 modifier if attacked in the side or rear by a second opponent. He is armed with a sword and pistol and has no magical abilities. He is mounted on a pony.

Sergeant Klinkerhoffen: An Experienced fighter who joined the unit just prior to the Witchlands debacle. He carries a halberd and short sword and has magical attributes.

Caporal Zmerik: An Average character. Zmerik carries a musket and is a crack shot gaining an automatic aimed fire bonus, unless he is drunk (25% chance). He has magical abilities, but if drunk has only a 30% chance of remembering them.

Fusilier Hansundberg: An Experienced soldier carrying a musket, with a history of disciplinary problems. Thinks the Major is a bastard and will attempt to shoot him at any opportunity providing the Major is between him and the enemy and there is no other character from the squad within 5cm of him. Has no magical abilities.

Fusilier Biggernoffen: Average character armed with a Blunderbuss. Has magical abilities (roll as appropriate).

Fusilier Dunnerdorf: Another Average character carrying a Blunderbuss. Dunnerdorf has no magical abilities and an unfortunate automatic +10% modifier on any temptation roll (alcohol or women)

Fusilier Libergoddsmek: An Average soldier, Libergoddsmek is armed with a musket but isn't too hot with it. He suffers an additional - 10% modifier to any firing roll he has to make, however he has magical abilities.

Fusilier Dingledonglefen: a Raw trooper, armed with a musket, he has no magical ability.

Fusilier Krautisnofferdonk: another Raw trooper armed with a musket. Due to a gammy knee, Krautisnofferdonk is penalised with an additional -10% movement modifier over rough ground.

Fusilier Weissschittmann: a Raw soldier, but drinking buddy of Corporal Zmerik. Armed with a musket, he has no magical ability and a flat 20% chance of being drunk going into action. Also suffers from a +10% temptation modifier.

Fusilier Schiesserhund: another Raw Fusilier, Schiesserhund is not really cut out for life, let alone the military. Armed with a musket, he takes two turns to reload, has an additional +10% modifier on any misfire rolls and -15% when firing. He has magical ability but has only a 50% chance of remembering them.

Fusilier Hunsmunderkopf: one of the section's two Ogre's. Hunsmunderkopf is an Experienced campaigner with no magical attributes but sporting a rather impressive Kannonderbuss.

Fusilier Hunsbinderkopf: the other Ogre, Hunsbinderkopf is a Raw character with no magical attributes, but carries a Double-Musket.

Klomvidtz's unit is escorting the following Generals and their companions, all of whom are in the cellar of the tavern:

General von Liebergottisduff: armed with a short sword and pistol, this experienced campaigner is so long in the tooth, he should be treated as a Raw trooper.

General Achtungderbumblebee: another old dog that should be treated as Raw, this General suffers from Dwarven Droop (hence why he is here) caused by his paucity to alcohol. 25% chance of him being drunk. +25% to any temptation roll.

Dotti Bonkins: a female Halfling prostitute, Dotti is armed with a knife, has a +1 modifier in hand to hand combat. At GM's discretion she may throw herself upon the mercy of any attacker resulting in the attacker being "otherwise engaged" for D6 moves...

Dippi Shaggins: a female Halfling prostitute, Dippi is armed with a broken beer bottle (count as small improvised weapon), has a +1 modifier in hand to hand combat. At GM's discretion she may also throw herself upon the mercy of any attacker resulting in the attacker being "otherwise engaged" for D6 moves...

Special and Optional Rules

Taking Prisoners - For the Krautians to take prisoners, they must declare prior to rolling that they are trying to take their opponent prisoner and then beat them in hand to hand combat. Any successful hand to hand result, means that the opponent has been successfully taken prisoner. It takes one armed Krautian to escort two unwounded prisoners.

Mountain Terrain - The Jägers suffer a -25% movement modifier in any mountainous terrain and cannot run in it. The Finklesteiners suffer a -40% modifier and also cannot run. The pony cannot be ridden in mountainous terrain.

Rifle Reloading  - Jäger rifles take TWO turns to reload. A Jäger can "tap load" the rifle in one move (useful in emergencies), but if they do, they should use the Carbine stats when subsequently firing the shot.

Victory Conditions

I hate giving victory conditions as they put artificial restraints on the game. Whether there has been a victor is best decided in the post wargame discussion over a few tinnies. However if you insist, to win the Krautians must capture one General and suffer less than 25% casualties. The Finklesteiners must protect both Generals and suffer less than 25% casualties. Any other result is a draw to some degree.


Webmaster's Notes

"Balls to the Wall" was originally published back in 1999 on Mike Baumann's site Filbanto Stew, the original version of which has sadly passed into the West.

It featured the first appearance of Dotti Bonkins who went on to be cast in lead and feature as part of Obidiah's Deserters (available here).

I have made minor edits to the original text; some small grammatical changes in the introductory story. I have also annotated it in red italicised text to aid players using the current 3rd Edition ruleset.

The updated and annotated version above was first published on Orcs in the Webbe on the 20th February 2014 as part of Orcs in the Webbe's ongoing Flintloque Archive Project.